To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
