we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
