i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
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