He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
