So drunk, too bad you don't want this
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Come see our sink grown plant.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
