hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
