Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize