cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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