I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
