remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
