I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Randomize
