yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I stole a fireplace last night.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
