ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
