she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
