I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
try to milk me bitch
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