you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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