She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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