i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
