If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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