All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Randomize
