This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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