You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize