I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Houston, we have a squirter
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
