i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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