If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
