i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
