You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
