Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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