you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Threesome in a minivan. New low
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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