They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
