Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
