She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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