I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Randomize
