I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
