i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Can I color on your dick again?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
