Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
