so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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