I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
