these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
