I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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