honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
