she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
