she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
