if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
