check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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