I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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