just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I love you. Go after that dick
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
