i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize