she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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