Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I'm too high and old for this...
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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