Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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