I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Randomize
