i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
