when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
i believe in u and ur pee
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
