I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
