I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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