Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize