i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
