If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
