So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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