if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
