We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
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