i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
