I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize