Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
her vagine was all disorganized.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
